The Summer Has Begun!

It is possible and necessary to be as strong and rugged for truth as a redwood and as tender and fragrant for Christ as a field of clover.
-John Piper

God is even bigger than I thought. Interning has been going on for about two weeks now and our getAHEAD (summer tutoring) program is underway. The first day we had about 24 kids. We picked them up from different apartment complexes and neighboring houses. They were so excited to see their classrooms, meet their teachers, and receive brand-new journals. The oldest class (mine & Jillian’s class) was entirely empty the first day, so we prayed God would bring an older crowd tomorrow. On Thursday we had 49 kids show up! Our cars were running back and forth from the church to the apartments. By the time I got back from picking up the kids on my block, there were 9 twelve-year-olds in my classroom, waiting to listen. Jillian and I had them pass around C.S. Lewis’s The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe, noting how the reading skills varied dramatically from one student to another. We had them journal about what their secret world would be like if they were to open a magical wardrobe door, like Lucy had in the book. Their answers were amusing, having mainly to do with oceans of money or being reuinted with deceased family and friends—but a girl named Rebecca wrote that she would want to be in a place where she could get away from all of life’s problems and finally get a chance to sort things out with God. I hope God will use me to help her see that she can have God now, in this world.

I’ve never felt so much love and so much frustration. They don’t even know me, yet I feel them grabbing my hands, sitting in my lap, or clinging to me as if I were their mother. At first it’s adorable and flattering until you realize that a healthy child doesn’t latch on to strangers. Miriam reminded us that a healthy child is attached to its family and reluctant to run to an outsider’s arms until a relationship is developed. But these kids don’t have healthy families. Yesterday I met ******’s dad when I dropped her off. He was sitting in front of the television while his three sons (all under the age of 7) ran around the house with dirty clothes on and no supervision. I thought, at least this girl has a father. ***** and ******* have different dads that they never see, and a mother who is the primary drug dealer in their apartment complex. One morning ***** discovered a dead body outside her door. What these two sisters are absorbing at home continues to undo so much of what they hear at this church. God is, of course, able to save to the uttermost those who are perishing. But I will admit that it is hard to send these kids home. It’s hard to think about what they are going home to. Every day Alicia begs me to take her home with me. Sometimes I plague myself with the reasons why, but have to stop because that is forgetting who God is. He is bigger than people’s circumstances, and He saves who He wills. Each of us has seen God save that person who seemed past the point of redemption, the teenager who said they hated God, or the relative who was wholly devoted to a false religion. That same God knows and loves these kids. My love is only a fraction of His love for them. I know I will cry over the hard hearts and the blind eyes. But at the end of the day, I will have to give each child over to His compassionate, gracious, and forgiving arms. Therein lies safety. Therein lies faith.

There is always so much to pray for. But would you pray for these kids?

Love,
Rachel